just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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