he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
