It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
