Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
