my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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