Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
dude. I can hear the air.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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