clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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