Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
