i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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