In America we eat man semen.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
