normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
