Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
