:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
