the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
