Whod you bang
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
