I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
