Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
