I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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