There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
