I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
