i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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