well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
