Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
