she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can I color on your dick again?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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