where am i from again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
