Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
