In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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