I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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