can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
