I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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