She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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