I'm drive I can fine osifer
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize