Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
