Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
is it fun? or sober?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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