I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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