I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
