he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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