thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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