Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I queefed so loud it echoed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
