dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
