I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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