her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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