dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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