She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
