I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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