K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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