better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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