I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
