She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
