Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
