I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
