Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
